The art of assertiveness

THERE ARE MANY DEFINITIONS of most words if you have a “google” around….however the most common definition of the word “Assertiveness” is as follows:

”Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident being aggressive”….

This has been brought to light from a session that I delivered yesterday  which I thought was worth sharing….

It’s a definition to me that right now sits quite comfortably…..however it’s not something that comes naturally to me at all….it’s not an ability of mine….it’s actually a skill, that I personally have had to learn…..

Yes there are times when I’ve felt quite annoyed at something  and I really wanted to stand my ground and shout from the rooftops with something that I’m not happy with…..(a fine example would be food being ill prepared, or more commonly rudeness and arrogance in a customer service environment)….It’s qite a normal reaction to want to raise your voice and tell someone what you think of their attitude…..but the question is where does that get you?

The answer generally being…..not very far!

My natural nature would be to handle rudeness in a very different way…infact the other extreme…….to accept the poor attitude…be upset by it…….do NOTHING….and then to go home and be upset/rant about it to all and sundry!

It’s only over the past few years that I’ve realised that the latter is something that I needed to work on…..and so I have….

I’ll never be one to go around shooting and carrying on…however what I’m sure to do now is to “stand my ground”…..apply my thoughts and speak in a controlled and “organised “ manner, and to have thought out before I take charge, what I want to GAIN by putting my point across…

At the end of the day I’ll do my very best to get what I want from the situation…..and you can bet your bottom dollar that by using a little assertiveness…the right tone of voice, positive and confident body language and a pleasant attitude that cannot be argued with, then the outcome will be a successful one…..(and I will go home happy, not frustrated AND will have got my achieved end result……)

Simple?……well to some yes…..but for the likes of me and those others with a similar nature to me, then maybe not so…however if you “learn” the way to apply yourself then your outcomes will be on the whole successful ones!

That’s what I’ve had to do. Anyway….and I’m glad I took the lesson….

That’s all for now….

Nichola x




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